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Joke Topic - 'Husbands' - 18 Jokes and Funny Stories To Laugh At
A husband and wife went to see a marriage guidance counselor.
'This is the problem,' the husband said. 'We've been married ten years. For the last eight, we haven't been able to agree on anything.'
The counselor looked at the wife. 'Is that correct?' he asked.
'Definitely not,' she answered. 'We haven't been able to agree on anything for the last nine years.'
3>'This is the problem,' the husband said. 'We've been married ten years. For the last eight, we haven't been able to agree on anything.'
The counselor looked at the wife. 'Is that correct?' he asked.
'Definitely not,' she answered. 'We haven't been able to agree on anything for the last nine years.'
A HUSBAND: The man who knows he is in charge and has his wife's permission to say so.
1>Did you hear about the husband who took his wife for some plastic surgery?
He had her credit cards removed!
2>He had her credit cards removed!
Husband: You must admit that men have much better judgment than women.
Wife: You're right. You married me, and I married you.
2>Wife: You're right. You married me, and I married you.
I wouldn't say my husband is thin, but he looks like a thermometer when he wears a red necktie.
2>Janet: My husband talks in his sleep.
Mary: Why not take him to the doctor?
Janet: Are you kidding? It's the only time he talks to me.
2>Mary: Why not take him to the doctor?
Janet: Are you kidding? It's the only time he talks to me.
Janice: Today is my fourth wedding anniversary.
Anne: So you and Robert have been married four years?
Janice: No. Robert's my fourth husband.
2>Anne: So you and Robert have been married four years?
Janice: No. Robert's my fourth husband.
Maid: Your husband's locked up for the night, ma'am.
Mistress: Fine, but I didn't hear him come in.
Maid: He didn't. The police just phoned.
2>Mistress: Fine, but I didn't hear him come in.
Maid: He didn't. The police just phoned.
Many a poor husband was once a rich bachelor.
1>Mary: I hear that you have a model husband.
Joan: It's true he really is a model husband - unfortunately, he's not a working model.
2>Joan: It's true he really is a model husband - unfortunately, he's not a working model.
Mrs Smith: Don't you think that man over there is the ugliest person you've ever seen?
Mrs Jones: That's my husband.
Mrs Smith: Oh dear, I'm so sorry.
Mrs Jones: You're sorry.
2>Mrs Jones: That's my husband.
Mrs Smith: Oh dear, I'm so sorry.
Mrs Jones: You're sorry.
The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep. 'Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am,' he said politely, 'but every morning, I pass your house on my way to work and couldn't help noticing that every day you hit your husband on the head with a loaf of bread.'
'That's right.'
'Every day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake.'
'Well, today is his birthday.'
3>'That's right.'
'Every day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake.'
'Well, today is his birthday.'