Dogs
We call our dog Egypt because he likes to leave a pyramid in every room.
Cows
Which American state has the most cows?
Moosouri.
Pigeons
Did you hear about the pigeon who wanted to buy a famous London landmark?
He put a deposit on Big Ben.
Doctors
Doctor: Nurse, I'm ready to see the next patient now. Can you send her in?
Nurse: Sorry, she didn't look very well, so I sent her home.
Musicians
What do you call a musician whose girlfriend has just dumped him?
Homeless.
Knock Knock
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Aida.
Aida who?
Aida whole sandwich for my lunch.
Girlfriends
I used to invite this gal to my apartment to help me make hamburgers.
I called her my grille friend!
Deja Vu
Doctor, Doctor, I believe I am suffering from Deja Vu!
Didn't I see you yesterday?
Dogs
What do you call a sheepdog's tail that is able to tell tall stories?
A shaggy dog tale.