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Joke Topic - 'Holidays'

Here are 5 jokes on the topic - 'Holidays'.

Related Topics: Vacation (11) Vacations (8) Holiday (3)

A man arrived at his holiday guest-house and met the landlady.
'Can you sing?' she snapped.
'No,' he replied.
'Well, you'd better learn quickly. There's no lock on the bathroom door.'

A poor little East End kid was taken away to the country for his first holiday and as he got out of the train at his destination he looked around in bewilderment. 'Blimeyl What a lot of grass to keep off.'

Two little East End kids were paddling in the sea at Southend. 'Cor,' said one, 'look at your feet. They ain't half dirty.'
'Well, we didn't have no 'oliday last year.'

What is a Count Dracula's favorite holiday?

What is grey, has four legs and a trunk?
A mouse going on holiday.

Here are some randomly selected joke topics



What is the difference between baseball and law?
In baseball, if you're caught stealing, you're out.


Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Chicken Soup

Diner: Waiter, your thumb is in my chicken soup.
Waiter: That's all right sir, it's not very hot.


Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Juicy who?
Juicy who threw the snowball at me?


Did you hear about the baker who got an electric shock?
He stood on a bun and a current ran up his leg.


What colors would you paint the sun and the wind?
The sun rose and the wind blue.


I'm watching my drinking, so now I only visit bars that have mirrors on the walls.


Well, this definitely is a surprise birthday party. There are only 39 candles on your cake!


What is the difference between crime and politics?
In crime it's take the money and run; in politics it's the other way around.

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