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Joke Topic - 'Holiday'

Here are 3 jokes on the topic - 'Holiday'.

Related Topics: Vacation (14) Vacations (8) Holidays (5)

A Scot from Aberdeen was on holiday in London and every night he returned to his hotel full of the wonders of the city. So much so that another guest asked: 'Is this your first visit?'
'Aye, it is.'
'You seem to be having a great time.'
'Aye, I am that.'
'And what's more, it's not just a holiday. It's my honeymoon as well.'
'Oh. Then where's your wife?'
'Och. She's been here before.'

A Scotsman went on a week's holiday to England. He took a clean shirt and a five pound note with him. When he arrived home he hadn't changed either of them.

Christmas - A holiday in which neither the past nor the future is of as much interest as the present.

Here are some randomly selected joke topics



Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hi who?
Hi, who are you?


What do you get if you cross a dog and a cheetah?
A dog that chases cars - and catches them.

An Outsider

As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?


What is green and goes 'boing, boing, boing'?
A spring cabbage.


Where do sheep buy their Christmas presents?
They go to Wool-mart!


Did you hear about the man who works in the watch factory?
He just stands around and makes faces all day.


Did you hear about the blonde housewife who was mad at her husband because he was out shooting craps and she didn't know how to cook them.


What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?
One minds the train, the other trains the mind.

Light Bulbs

How many Radio 1 DJs does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to change it and two to resign over the changes.

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