Home / Joke Topics Index / Joke Topics - H / Joke Topic - Holiday - 1
Joke Topic - 'Holiday'
A Scot from Aberdeen was on holiday in London and every night he returned to his hotel full of the wonders of the city. So much so that another guest asked: 'Is this your first visit?'
'Aye, it is.'
'You seem to be having a great time.'
'Aye, I am that.'
'Good.'
'And what's more, it's not just a holiday. It's my honeymoon as well.'
'Oh. Then where's your wife?'
'Och. She's been here before.'
'Aye, it is.'
'You seem to be having a great time.'
'Aye, I am that.'
'Good.'
'And what's more, it's not just a holiday. It's my honeymoon as well.'
'Oh. Then where's your wife?'
'Och. She's been here before.'
A Scotsman went on a week's holiday to England. He took a clean shirt and a five pound note with him. When he arrived home he hadn't changed either of them.
Christmas - A holiday in which neither the past nor the future is of as much interest as the present.
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Hi
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hi.
Hi who?
Hi, who are you?
Who’s there?
Hi.
Hi who?
Hi, who are you?
Dogs
What do you get if you cross a dog and a cheetah?
A dog that chases cars - and catches them.
A dog that chases cars - and catches them.
An Outsider
As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
Cabbage
What is green and goes 'boing, boing, boing'?
A spring cabbage.
A spring cabbage.
Sheep
Where do sheep buy their Christmas presents?
They go to Wool-mart!
They go to Wool-mart!
Watch
Did you hear about the man who works in the watch factory?
He just stands around and makes faces all day.
He just stands around and makes faces all day.
Blondes
Did you hear about the blonde housewife who was mad at her husband because he was out shooting craps and she didn't know how to cook them.
Teachers
What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?
One minds the train, the other trains the mind.
One minds the train, the other trains the mind.
Light Bulbs
How many Radio 1 DJs does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to change it and two to resign over the changes.
Three. One to change it and two to resign over the changes.
This is page 1 of 1