Musicians
How many bluegrass musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to screw it in and one to complain that it's electrified.
Cops
How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. It turned itself in.
Dogs
What type of dog wears a uniform and a badge?
A guard dog.
Vampires
What sport do vampires like to watch?
Bat-minton.
Police
Police move in book case
Doctors
Doctor, doctor. Every time I stand up quickly, I see Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and Goofy.
OK, how long have you had these Disney spells?
Having A Bad Day
You know you're having a bad day when your ex-wife is your blind date.
Dogs
A FATHER: The man who has complete command, most of the time, of the dog.
Donuts
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Duncan.
Duncan who?
Duncan your doughnut again?