Joke Topic - 'Hereditary'

Q: What did the blonde say when she dropped the priceless Ming vase?
A: "It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt."

Patient: Please help me Doctor. Whenever I look at my dog I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.
Doctor: Relax. Your dog is a Dalmatian.

You can always count on your fingers

Why are Scotsmen such good golfers?
They know that the fewer times they have to hit the ball the longer it will last.

When they were handing out noses, you thought that they said roses and so you asked for a big red one.

I used to invite this gal to my apartment to help me make hamburgers.
I called her my grille friend!

Can you call someone on the other side of the international date line and get tomorrow's winning lottery numbers?

The drunker I sit here, the longer I get.

Did you hear about the new microwave lawyer?
You spend eight minutes in his office and get billed as if you'd been there eight hours.