Joke Topic - 'Hereditary'

Joe: Your wife is pretty old.
Bob: Thank you. She was even prettier when she was younger.

"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!"
"I'm not surprised, sir, our chef used to be a tailor."

Teacher: I wish you’d pay a little attention to what I'm saying!
Pupil: I'm paying as little as I can!

What is the difference between a banker and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood at night.

Why does Father Christmas go down chimneys?
Because they soot him.

Why was the maths book looking so sad?
Because it had so many problems.

There are two things I dislike in a person -
Absentmindedness and... I can't remember the other one.

Doctor, Doctor I've just swallowed a pen.
Well sit down and write your name!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pig
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!