Joke Topic - 'Harley Davidson'

What do you get if you cross a play by William Shakespeare and some eggs?
Omelette.

Nothing increases your golf score like witnesses.

My brother saw a witch riding on a broomstick. He said, 'What are you doing on that?'
The witch said, 'My best friend's got the vacuum cleaner.'

What happens if you eat Christmas decorations?
You get tinselitis.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ivan.
Ivan who?
Ivan infectious disease.

Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a pack of cards.
Sit down and I'll deal with you later.

What do you get if you cross a piece of paper with two famous composers?
A Chopin Listz.

Why was the duck arrested?
He was suspected of selling quack remedies.

I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk!
Alcoholics go to meetings!