Christmas
What is a hairdresser's favorite Christmas carol?
'Oh comb all ye faithful.'
Men
Why is it hard to locate sensitive, caring, attractive men?
They all have boyfriends.
Banks
I used to work in a bank, but then I lost interest.
Marriage
Marriage is like a bathtub. It's not so hot once you are in it for a while.
Tarzan
Where does Tarzan buy his underpants?
In a jungle sale.
Cricket
Why could you say that a fish and chip shop is like a cricket team?
Because they both need a good batter.
Zombies
Why was the zombie awarded a medal?
Because he was dead-icated!
Dogs
Mum, can I please have a dog for Christmas?
No, you will have turkey like everyone else!
Drunks
I'm not as you think as you drunk I am.