Arnold saw an advertisement for a handyman for an apartment complex and decided to apply for the job.
"What do you know about plumbing was the interviewer's first question.
"Nothing at all," said George.
"Well what about electricity?"
"Not a thing."
"How about gardening then?"
"Never cut a lawn in my life."
"Then tell me," said the confused interviewer, "just what makes you so handy?"
"I live right around the corner," said Arnold.
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Ancestors
Joe: I can trace my ancestors all the way back to Columbus.
Bud: Back to 1492?
Joe: No, to Ohio.
Cricket
Patient: Doctor, you must help me, I've gone crazy about cricket.
Doctor: How's that?
Patient: Not out!
Decisions
This is a day for final decisions!
Or is it?
Retire
Before deciding to retire from working, it is best to stay home for a week and watch daytime TV shows.
Doctors
Doctor, doctor, what's the best cure for water on the knee?
A tap on the ankle.
Magic
Did you hear about the magic tractor?
It turned into a field.
Tougher
State Legislators Want Tougher Death Penalty
Eggs
Diner: Waiter, these eggs are runny.
Waiter: Why do you say that, sir?
Because one just ran out the door.
Quarterbacks
Old quarterbacks never die, they just pass away.