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Joke Topic - 'Hands'

Here are 3 jokes on the topic - 'Hands'.


It was so cold last week that I saw several lawyers with their hands in their own pockets.

What did the digital clock say to its mother?
Look Ma, no hands!

What has two hands, but no fingers?
A Clock.

Here are some randomly selected joke topics



How many bagpipe players does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One to change the bulb and four to play a lament for the old one!


Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I'm boiling up.
Doctor: Why don't do just simmer down?

The Biggest Handicap

What is the biggest handicap in golf?
Being honest.


How does a mouse feel after it takes a bath?
Squeaky clean.


A seven year old going to his first carol service demanded indignantly when the collection plate came round, 'You mean we have to pay for this?'


What do you call a crazy spaceman?
An astronut.


How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb?
Four - three to cut a hole in the roof and one to change the bulb.


If at first you don't succeed, have you considered becoming a personnel officer?


Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross again?
He wanted to be a dirty double crosser.

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