Fired
Why did the human cannonball consider himself a failure?
Because he was always being fired.
Ghosts
Did you hear about the smuggler that saw a ghost?
It was the ghostguard.
Sandwiches
How can you tell if there is an elephant in your sandwich?
It's too heavy to lift.
Mutts
What do you get if you cross a mutt with a poodle?
A muddle.
Car Drivers
Did you hear about the stupid car driver who always drove his car in reverse?
He said it was because he knew the town backward.
Father Christmas
What do the elves fear most about Christmas?
They're afraid that Father Christmas will give them the sack.
Eggs
What kind of a guy was Humpty Dumpty?
He was a good egg.
Dogs
'Why is your dog growling at me like that?' asked Brian.
'0h,' said Billy, 'He's probably just angry because you're using his dish.'
Skeletons
What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
I love every bone in your body.