Kittens
What do you call a glove for a baby cat?
A kitten mitten.
Thoughts
I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.
Doctors
Doctor, Doctor, I've got rotten teeth, bad breath, and smelly feet.
Sounds like you've got Foot and Mouth disease!
Pigs
What do you get if you cross a pig with Count Dracula?
A hampire.
Detectives
What is another name for a store detective?
A counter spy.
Lawyers
Up until you employ a lawyer, talk is cheap.
Kings
Which of King Arthur's knights loved to eat steak?
Sir Loin.
Santa Claus
Who delivers Christmas presents to the police station?
Santa Clues.
Calendars
Why was the calendar sad?
Because its days were numbered.