Joke Topic - 'Great Britain'

My girlfriend is just like a fine French Impressionist painting. She's very lovely, but is best appreciated at a distance.

How many books can you put on an empty shelf?
One. After that it isn't empty.

What do a hurricane, a tornado, a fire and a divorce have in common?
They are four ways you can lose your home.

How do you drown a blonde?
Put a mirror on the bottom of the swimming pool.

What is the hardest key to turn?
A donkey.

Old doughnut makers never die, they just get tired of the whole business.

Boy: Can you change twenty pence for me?
Father: Yeah, that's no problem.
Boy: Good. Change it to fifty pence please.

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!

Why did the cat move to a new neighborhood?
Because the old one had gone to the dogs!