PAR: What a golf addict's children call their father.
Roger: I'm going on a diet to improve my golf game.
Tom: How will losing weight help your game?
Roger: Because at the moment I can't see the ball if I put it where I can hit it, and I can't hit it if I put it where I can see it!
Show me a man who is a good loser and I'll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.
The man who takes up golf to take his mind off his 'work' often takes up Work to take his mind off golf.
This man wrote into the Daily Mirror for some advice. He said, 'Dear Marge, I must get this off my chest. I did this awful golf shot, and the ball didn't go anywhere near: the green. In fact it landed on this bloke's head and killed him. What shall I do?'
Marge said, 'Try and get more rhythm in your swing.'
Waiter: What will you have, sir?
Golfer: A club sandwich please.
What are the three worst words you can hear while playing a round of golf?
"Still your turn"!
What do you call the place that is crowded with doctors most afternoons?
A golf course.
What does a dog use for playing golf?
A kennel club.
What goes 'putt, putt, putt, putt'?
A poor golfer.