Home / Joke Topics Index / Joke Topics - G / Joke Topic - Goldfish - 1

Joke Topic - 'Goldfish'


Here are 3 jokes on the topic - 'Goldfish'.

$text4

If you have a referee in soccer, and an umpire in cricket, what do you have in bowls?
Goldfish
$text4

My brother was in this restaurant. He said, 'Excuse me waiter, but I don't like the look of this cod.'
The waiter said, I'm sorry sir. if I'd known it was looks you were after I'd have got you a goldfish.'
$text4

Wee Hughie was in the garden filling in a hole when his English neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the mad man was up to, he politely asked, 'What are you doing there, Hughie?'
'My goldfish died,' replied Wee Hughie tearfully without looking up, 'and I've just buried him.'
The English neighbour was very concerned. 'That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?'
Wee Hughie patted down the last heap of dirt then replied, 'That's because he's inside your cat.'


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

$text4

Dogs

Which type of dog always know what time it is?
A watch dog!
$text4

Change A Light Bulb

How many British Rail staff does it take to change a light-bulb?
Two. One to change the bulb and one to apologize for the delay.
$text4

Computers

What do you call a computer superhero?
A Screen Saver.
$text4

Shoes

If the shoe fits, buy the other one too.
$text4

Egyptian

What do you call an overweight Egyptian mummy?
Two ton Carmen.
$text4

Ski Lift

His ski lift doesn't go to the top of the mountain.
$text4

Scientists

Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
$text4

Christmas Trees

Why are Christmas trees just like bad knitters?
They both drop their needles.
$text4

Frogs

What do you call a frog who works as a spy?
A croak and dagger agent.

This is page 1 of 1