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Joke Topic - 'Glasses'


Here are 4 jokes on the topic - 'Glasses'.

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A traffic policeman stops a woman and asks to see her driving licence.
'Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses when driving.'
'Well,' replies the woman, 'I have contacts.'
'Lady, I don't care who you know, your still going to get a ticket.'
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Billy: I went to the eye doctor because I was seeing spots in front of my eyes. He gave me glasses.
Paul: Did the glasses help?
Billy: They did, I can see the spots much more clearly now.
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Tim: I hear you use three pairs of glasses.
Tom: That's right. One for reading, one for distance, and one to look for the other two.
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Why did the teacher need to wear dark glasses?
Because she had such a bright class.


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

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Trains

What do you call a train that is carrying toffee?
A chew chew train.
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Cars

We were all in a car and it wouldn't start, so I told everyone to be quiet, and then it started right up! Why??
Cause it goes without saying...
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Cats

What has four legs, whiskers, a tail and flies?
A dead cat.
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Blondes

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.
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Undertaker

What did the woman say to the undertaker when he started hitting his broken down funeral car?
Stop beating a dead hearse.
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Flies

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!'
"Yes, sir, it's the bad meat that attracts them."
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Sailors

Did you hear about the man who thought Bob Marley and the Wailers were the sailors who caught Moby Dick?
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Eat

Waiter, waiter, I can't eat this.
Why not, sir?
Because you haven't given me a knife and fork.
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Doctors

Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots?
I never make rash promises.

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