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Joke Topic - 'Glasses'

Here are 4 jokes on the topic - 'Glasses'.


A traffic policeman stops a woman and asks to see her driving licence.
'Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses when driving.'
'Well,' replies the woman, 'I have contacts.'
'Lady, I don't care who you know, your still going to get a ticket.'

Billy: I went to the eye doctor because I was seeing spots in front of my eyes. He gave me glasses.
Paul: Did the glasses help?
Billy: They did, I can see the spots much more clearly now.

Tim: I hear you use three pairs of glasses.
Tom: That's right. One for reading, one for distance, and one to look for the other two.

Why did the teacher need to wear dark glasses?
Because she had such a bright class.

Here are some randomly selected joke topics



What do you call a train that is carrying toffee?
A chew chew train.


We were all in a car and it wouldn't start, so I told everyone to be quiet, and then it started right up! Why??
Cause it goes without saying...


What has four legs, whiskers, a tail and flies?
A dead cat.


Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.


What did the woman say to the undertaker when he started hitting his broken down funeral car?
Stop beating a dead hearse.


'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!'
"Yes, sir, it's the bad meat that attracts them."


Did you hear about the man who thought Bob Marley and the Wailers were the sailors who caught Moby Dick?


Waiter, waiter, I can't eat this.
Why not, sir?
Because you haven't given me a knife and fork.


Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots?
I never make rash promises.

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