Joke Topic - 'Girlfriends'

A soccer fan took his new girlfriend to a match for the first time, and answered all her questions as she inquired about the function of every player.
'And what's that man in front of the net?' she asked.
'He's the goal-keeper.'
'And what does he do?'
'He has to keep the ball from going in the net.'
'Ah. And how much is he paid?'
'Oh, about 2000 pounds a week.'
'Oh,' said the girl, 'wouldn't it be cheaper to board it up?'

Billy: My girlfriend has what is known as a sympathetic face.
John: What do you mean?
Billy: When people see her face they feel sympathetic.

Bob: I call my girlfriend Sugar.
Joe: Why is that?
Bob: Because she's so refined.

Boyfriend: Is that a new perfume I smell?
Girlfriend: It is, and you do!

Fred: My girlfriend loves nature.
Dave: That's very generous of her, considering what nature has done to her.

Fred: My girlfriend spends hours in front of the mirror admiring her beauty. Do you think that's vanity?
George: No, it's just imagination.

George: My girlfriend has a beautiful pair of eyes, her skin has the glow of a peach, her cheeks are like apples and her lips like cherries.
Fred: Sounds more like a fruit salad to me.

GILLIE: Will I lose my looks as I get older?
WILLIE: With luck, yes.

I call my girlfriend "Sugar" because she is so refined.

I call my girlfriend 'Laryngitis' because she's a right pain in the neck.