Bankers
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember what the combination is.
Dogs
Where did the dog leave his car when he went shopping?
In a barking lot.
Scottish
Did you hear about the Scottish kamikaze pilot?
He crashed his plane in his brother's scrapyard.
Dangerous
What is yellow, hot, and highly dangerous?
Shark-infested custard.
Lawyers
What kind of clothes do lawyers wear?
Lawsuits.
Dandruff
Is that dandruff I see on your shoulders or sawdust leaking out of your ears?
Cinderella
Why was Cinderella so useless at sport?
Because her coach was a pumpkin.
Men
What's the best way for a woman to get rid of excess fat?
Divorce him.
Television
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Watson.
Watson who?
Watson television tonight?