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Joke Topic - 'Getting Old'


Here are 6 jokes on the topic - 'Getting Old'.

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Signs You're Getting Old
You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
You're the one calling the police because the kids next door won't turn down their stereo.
Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
Eating fried chicken at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
A $5.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
"I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again."
90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
You no longer drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
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You know you're getting old when instead of combing your hair, you start "arranging" it.
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You know you're getting old when the only gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
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You know you're getting old when you look at the menu before looking at the waitress or waiter.
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You know you're getting old when you turn out the lights for economic reasons instead of romantic ones.
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You know you're getting old when your back goes out more than you do.


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

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Doctors

Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm invisible.
Who said that?
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Prison

Q: What do you call a psychic dwarf that just escaped from prison?
A: A small Medium at large.
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Eel

What do you get if you cross an eel with a shopper?
A slippery customer.
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Chickens

Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross again?
He wanted to be a dirty double crosser.
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On Time

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Huron.
Huron who?
Huron time for a change.
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Waiters

Waiter to customer: "I know your steak is frozen. I told you it would melt in your mouth, didn't I?"
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Fleas

What do you get if you cross a flea with a rabbit?
Bugs Bunny.
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A Bad Company

If you think we're a bad company, you should see the competition.
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Free

Why, if the best things in life are free, the next-best things are so expensive?

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