Joke Topic - 'Get Lost'

Honk If Anything Falls Off

Did you hear about this guy who lived right next door to a sewer and killed himself?
The coroner said it was sewercide.

Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you?

Did you hear about the idiot who called both his sons, Ed?
He thought two eds were better than one.

Why did the bird fly into the public library?
It was looking for bookworms.

Twelve year old's essay on 'what would you do to try and encourage motorists to show more consideration for others?': 'I would drive a police car.'

Where would you go if you wanted to weigh a whale?
To the the whale way station!

What kind of bird is always on its knees?
A bird of prey.

What tool does an ape use to fix a leaking tap?
A monkey wrench.