A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled upon an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said "OK. OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah, blah. This is the 4th time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish! The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?" The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete . . how much steel!! No, think of another wish!" The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish.
Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women . . . know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment . . .know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say, 'nothing' . . . know how to make them truly happy . . ." The genie said, "You want that bridge with two lanes or four?
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Dogs
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
.
Alf who?
Alf feed the dog while you're away on vacation!
Christmas
What do male sheep sing at Christmas?
Ewele-tide Carols!
Pirate Radio
Pirate radio rules the waves
Christmas Day
What comes at the very end of Christmas Day?
The letter 'Y' of course!
Jewelry
What do you call a piece of jewelry that has been lost in the long grass on a golf course?
A diamond in the rough.
Drink
If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
Pigs
What do you get if you cross a pig with a hedgehog?
A porkupine.
Guess
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Albert.
Albert who?
Albert you'll never be able to guess who I am.
Man
What is the longest sentence known to man?
'I do.'