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Joke Topic - 'Genie'


Here are 4 jokes on the topic - 'Genie'.

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A man who hated his mother-in-law got three wishes from a genie.
Genie: "Whatever you wish for, your mother-in-law gets DOUBLE."
First wish: "I would like one billion dollars."
Genie: "Ok but mom get's two billion."
Second wish: "I would like an island off the coast of Greece."
Genie: "OK but mom get's two islands."
Third wish: " I would like you to beat me half to death."
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One day a man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened it. A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out.
The genie said, "For your kindness I will grant you a wish, but only one."
The man thought for a minute and said, "I have always wanted to visit Hawaii but have never been able to because I'm afraid of flying and ships make me seasick. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."
The genie thought for a minute and said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved: the pilings needed to hold up the highway, how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement that would be needed. No, that is just too much to ask."
The man thought for a minute and then told the genie, "Well, there is one other thing that I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand my girlfriend. What makes her laugh and cry, why is she temperamental, why is she so difficult to get along with? Basically, what makes her tick?"
The genie considered for a few minutes and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?"
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Three blondes are stranded on an island. They find a lamp and rub it and out pops a genie. "I will grant each of you one wish" the genie said.
The first blonde said that she wished to be smarter than the other two, and she turned into a brunette and swam off the island.
The second blonde said that she wished to be smarter than the other two, and she turned into a red-head and built a raft and rowed off the island.
The third blonde wished to be smarter than the other two, and she turned into a brunette and walked across the bridge.
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Why did the genie in the lamp get angry?
Because someone rubbed him up the wrong way!


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

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Boxers

How do you get a boxer to laugh?
Start telling a joke and then hit him with the punchline.
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Justice

Justice - a decision in your favor.
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Onions

How do you start an onion race?
"Onion marks! Get set! Go!
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Vampires

What do you call a stupid vampire?
A clot.
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Doctors

Doctor: I will examine you for twenty dollars.
Patient: Go ahead Doctor. If you find it you can have it.
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The Sun

Q: On what side of a building does the sun always shine?
A: The outside.
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Restaurants

I went to a restaurant that was so expensive that they didn't have prices on the menu - just little faces with varying expressions of horror.
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Scottish

How did the Scottish dog feel when it saw the Loch Ness monster?
Terrier-fied.
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Usefulness

The usefulness of a meeting is inversely proportional to its attendance.

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