Jobs
Did you hear about the man who quit his job as a historian?
He realized there was no future in it.
Boxers
This trainer came up to this boxer. He said, 'Are you ready for another fight?'
The boxer said, 'Just a bout.'
Dresses
Salesgirl: Which size dress would you like, madam?
Customer: I'd like a size 10, but I take a size 14.
Dinosaurs
What do you call a dinosaur that likes to wear a cowboy hat and boots?
Tyrannosaurus Tex.
Light
Because light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Friends
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ida
Ida who?
Ida like to be your friend!
Cows
What do cows like to read at the breakfast table?
The daily moospaper!
Kittens
How does a contented kitten feel?
Cat-isfied with life.
Paint
I'd give my right ear to paint like Van Gogh