Teenagers
How many TEENAGERS does it take to change a light bulb?
'Do it yourself - it's your house! What am I, some kind of personal slave or something?'
Baseball
In baseball, what type of dog stands behind home plate?
The catcher's mutt.
Roman
Which famous Roman general always had colds?
Julius Sneezer!
Scary
Which are the scariest prehistoric creatures?
Terror dactyls.
Police
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Dishes.
Dishes, who?
Dishes the police. Open this door!
Dads
This kid said to me, 'My dad can beat your dad up.'
I said to him, 'That's nothing. So can my mum.'
Cats
Joe: I've got a cat who can say his name.
Bob: That's great! What's your cat's name?
Joe: Meow!
Dogs
Where did the dog leave his car when he went shopping?
In a barking lot.
Television
What type of television did the ghost buy?
A wide-scream TV.