Thieves
What did the thief say when he robbed the glue factory?
This is a stickup!
Doors
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Mickey.
Mickey who?
Mickey won't work, so please open the door for me!
Skeletons
What do you call a lazy skeleton?
Bone idle.
Cars
Did you hear about the man who lost control of his car?
He didn't keep up with the payments on it.
Pigs
Why is ink like a pig?
They both can be found in a pen.
Elephants
Why are elephants so wrinkled?
Have you ever tried ironing one?
Astronauts
What is an astronaut's favorite place on a computer keyboard?
The space bar.
Pigs
Why did the pig give his girlfriend a bunch of flowers?
It was Valenswine's Day!
Kittens
Patient: I think I'm turning into a baby cat.
Doctor: I think your just kitten me.