Joke Topic - 'Front Door'

My physchiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him "If you don't mind I'd like a second opion. "He said "Alright .. you're ugly too."

Fred: My girlfriend loves nature.
Dave: That's very generous of her, considering what nature has done to her.

What do you get if you cross a thief with an orchestra?
Robbery with violins.

I don't think you are a fool. But then what's MY opinion against thousands of others?

"Hello, this is Dave. (pause) Hello? Hello!!? Nah, just kidding. This is an answering machine.

We call our boss caterpillar.
He got where he is by crawling.

Did you hear about the man who kept thinking he was Dracula?
He was a right pain in the neck.

What did the buffalo say when he dropped his boy off at school?
"Bye, son!"

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ooze.
Ooze who?
Ooze that knocking at my door?