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Joke Topic - 'Frogs' - 26 Jokes and Funny Stories To Laugh At
Here are 26 jokes on the topic - 'Frogs'.
A frog called the Psychic Hotline and was told, 'You are going to meet a gorgeous young woman who will want to know everything about you.'
The frog said, 'That's great! Will I meet her at a party?'
'No,' said the psychic. 'Next term--in her biology class.'
The frog said, 'That's great! Will I meet her at a party?'
'No,' said the psychic. 'Next term--in her biology class.'
A mangy-lookin' guy goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, 'No way. I don't think you can pay for it.' The guy says, 'You're right. I don't have any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before, will you give me a drink?' The bartender says, 'Only if what you show me ain't risque.'
'Deal!' says the guy, pulling out a hamster from his coat pocket. Once he sets the hamster on the bar, it dashes off, climbing over a barstool before racing across the room to the piano. It then leaps up on the keyboard and begins to play Gershwin tunes. The hamster, too, is top-notch. The bartender responds, 'You're right. That is the first time I have ever seen anything like it. That hamster plays the piano beautifully. The guy finishes his drink and requests another from the bartender. 'Money or another miracle, else no drink,' says the bartender.
The guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog on the bar, and the frog starts to sing. He has a marvelous voice and great pitch and is a fine singer. A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog. The guy says, 'It's a deal.' He takes the three hundred and gives the frog to the stranger, who runs out of the bar with it.
The bartender says to the guy, 'Are you some kind of nut?! Did you sell a singing frog for $300? It must have been worth millions. You must be crazy!'
'Not so,' says the guy. 'The hamster is also a ventriloquist!'
'Deal!' says the guy, pulling out a hamster from his coat pocket. Once he sets the hamster on the bar, it dashes off, climbing over a barstool before racing across the room to the piano. It then leaps up on the keyboard and begins to play Gershwin tunes. The hamster, too, is top-notch. The bartender responds, 'You're right. That is the first time I have ever seen anything like it. That hamster plays the piano beautifully. The guy finishes his drink and requests another from the bartender. 'Money or another miracle, else no drink,' says the bartender.
The guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog on the bar, and the frog starts to sing. He has a marvelous voice and great pitch and is a fine singer. A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog. The guy says, 'It's a deal.' He takes the three hundred and gives the frog to the stranger, who runs out of the bar with it.
The bartender says to the guy, 'Are you some kind of nut?! Did you sell a singing frog for $300? It must have been worth millions. You must be crazy!'
'Not so,' says the guy. 'The hamster is also a ventriloquist!'
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a frog
Go on, hop it!
Go on, hop it!
Here's a question:
What do restaurants do with frog arms?
What do restaurants do with frog arms?
How do frogs die?
They Kermit suicide.
They Kermit suicide.
Just how deep into the water can a frog go?
Knee-deep.
Knee-deep.
Patient: Doctor, doctor, I keep seeing frogs before my eyes.
Doctor: Don't worry, it's only a hoptical illusion.
Doctor: Don't worry, it's only a hoptical illusion.
There was a small frog who needed a loan to buy a new car. He went in to see the loan officer, Mr.Patrick Whack. I'd like to have a loan, the frog said timidly. The loan officer said: 'Well, do you have any collateral?' 'Well, said the frog, all I have is this small charm that has been in the family for years. Will it do?' The loan officer wasn't sure, so he went in to see the bank manager. 'There is this small frog outside who needs to buy a new car, and the only collateral he has is this,' and he handed the charm to the bank manager. The bank manager looked at the charm and said:
'It's a knick-knack, Paddy Whack, give the frog a loan!'
'It's a knick-knack, Paddy Whack, give the frog a loan!'
Waiter, waiter, do you have frogs' legs?'
'No, sir, I always walk this way.'
'No, sir, I always walk this way.'
Waiter, waiter, do you have frogs' legs?'
'Yes, sir.'
'Well, hop over the counter and get me a sandwich.'
'Yes, sir.'
'Well, hop over the counter and get me a sandwich.'
What did one frog say to the other?
Time's sure fun when you're having flies.
Time's sure fun when you're having flies.
What did the bus driver say to the frog?
Hop on.
Hop on.