Joke Topic - 'Fractions'

Doctor, doctor. I think that I'm turning into a baby cat.
I think you're just kitten me.

Where does a baby ape like to sleep?
In an apricot.

How do you call a deer with no eyes.
No idea.

What did the cannibal say when he was full up?
I couldn't eat another mortal.

Why did the cow leave home?
It wanted to look for greener pastures.

Waiter, waiter, there's a twig in my soup.
Well you did order bird's nest soup, sir.

Maid: Your husband's locked up for the night, ma'am.
Mistress: Fine, but I didn't hear him come in.
Maid: He didn't. The police just phoned.

What song does Tarzan always sing at Christmas?
Jungle Bells.

Why was the computer feeling cold?
It had left Windows open.