Joke Topic - 'Football' - Page 2 - With 6 More Jokes and Funny Stories

This is page 2 of jokes on the topic - 'Football'.

Why can't a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.

Why did the football coach go to a hair salon?
He had too many split ends.

Why is a football player like an airline passenger?
They both want safe touchdowns.

Why is a football stadium always so cool?
Because it's full of fans.

Why is an astronaut like an American football player?
They both want to make safe touchdowns.

Why was the football coach yelling at the vending machine?
He wanted his quarter back.

Here are some randomly selected joke topics

Did you hear about the dog that ate nothing but garlic?
His bark was much worse than his bite.

What is the biggest handicap in golf?
Being honest.

Waiter, waiter, do you have frogs' legs?'
'No, sir, I always walk this way.'

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Waiter.
Waiter who?
Waiter round and you'll find out.

The worst day fishing is better than the best day working

Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?

'Waiter! There's a fly in my wine!'
'Well, you did ask for something with a little body, sir.'

Do you know the difference between a set of bagpipes and a lawnmower?
If someone borrows your lawnmower, you always ask for it back!

Why was the cannibal expelled from school?
Because he kept buttering up the teacher.