Joke Topic - 'Food' - 9 Jokes and Funny Stories To Laugh At

Here are 9 jokes on the topic - 'Food'.

A cheese sandwich goes into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve food here."

A pie walks into a bar and asks the owner if he can have a pint of beer and a packet of crisps. The bar owner replies and says, sorry, we don't serve food.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Goblin.
Goblin who?
Goblin down your food will give you a tummy ache.

My brother said, 'You'd better know from the start that my favorite food is trash and onions.'
The girl said, 'Tripe.'
He said, 'Don't start arguing before we're married.'

Signs You're Getting Old
You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
In the elevator, your favorite music comes on.
When the kids next door refuse to turn down their stereo, you're the one who calls the police.
Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
Dinner and a movie are the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
Eating fried chicken at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
A $5 bottle of wine isn't considered 'pretty good stuff.'
You eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
'I'm never going to drink so much again,' is replaced by 'I just can't drink the way I used to.'
90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
You no longer drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

The one good thing you can say about the food in our vacation hotel is that at least they're considerate enough to give you only small portions.

This tramp came to our house asking for food. My mum said, 'I think I'll offer him one of my rock cakes.'
My dad said, 'What harm has he ever done you?'

Waiter, waiter, this food isn't fit for a pig.'
'Very good, sir. I'll go and get you some that is.'

What is the best day to have bacon and eggs for breakfast?
Fry-day.