'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!'
'Don't worry, sir, the tarantula on the roll will catch it.'
'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!'
'Yes, sir, it's the bad meat that attracts them.'
'Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!'
'I'm not surprised, sir, our chef used to be a tailor.'
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Don't worry - he won't drink much.
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Throw him a doughnut, sir; it'll make a good lifebelt.
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
Schools
Wilma: You remind me of a school closed for vacation.
Fred: What do you mean?
Wilma: You have no class.
Doors
What do you call a man who sits at your front door?
Matt.
Moon
What is large, bright, and stupid?
A fool moon.
Eating
What happens if you eat Christmas decorations?
You get tinselitis.
Santa Claus
Why does Santa need to carry a big umbrella with him?
Because of all the rain-deer.
Breed
What breed of dog loves to take a bath?
A shampoodle!
Trains
Have you visited the new website about trains?
It's just the ticket.
Dangerous
What is yellow, hot, and highly dangerous?
Shark-infested custard.
Dogs
My dog is a nuisance. He chases everyone on a bicycle. What can I do?
Take his bike away.