Did you hear about the a fish that wanted to borrow some money?
He went to visit the loan shark.
Diner. 'This piece of cod isn't nearly so nice as the piece I had here a few weeks ago.'
- Absent minded Waiter. 'It ought to be sir, it's from the same fish.'
Diner: Waiter, bring me a portion of fish a glass of milk.
Waiter: Fillet?
Diner: Yes, right to the top.
How do fish get to school?
They go by octobus.
I used to have a fish as a pet. Poor little thing it was deaf. So I bought it a herring aid.
Last night there was a big fight in our local fish and chip shop - a lot of fish got battered.
My uncle said, 'The RSPCA are going to closedown my fish and chip shop.'
I said, 'Why's that?'
He said, 'They think I'm battering the fish.'
Waiter, Waiter.
I'd like a glass of beer and a piece of fish.
Fillet?
Yes - right to the top.
What do fish play on the piano?
Scales!
What do you call a large fish that makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather!