Cows
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An eskimoo.
Doctors
Patient: Doctor, I've just swallowed a spoon.
Doctor: Sit down and don't stir yourself.
Doctors
The doctor checked the patient's purse before deciding that there was no hope.
Scotsmen
Have you heard about the Scotsman who washed his kilt?
He couldn't do a fling with it.
Trumpets
What would you get if you crossed a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
Scottish
Which famous Scottish poet is setting the place on fire?
Robert Burns.
Deja Vu
Doctor, Doctor, I believe I am suffering from Deja Vu!
Didn't I see you yesterday?
Cats
Why was the cat scared of the tree?
Because of its bark.
Blondes
How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, 'Daaady!'