Joke Topic - 'Fingers'

What do you get if you cross an octopus with a cow?
An animal that can milk itself.

Did you hear about the sculptor's son?
He was a chip of the old block.

Last night I was going to kill myself by swallowing a handful of asprins - but after taking the first two I felt much better.

Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.

Quiet Please - Driver sleeping

Customer: I'd like a bar of soap please.
Shop Assistant: Would you like it scented?
Customer: No, I want to take it with me now.

What type of bird works on a building site?
A crane.

What is the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Wendy
Wendy who?
Wendy red red robin goes bob bob bobbin along.