Surfing
How do you catch the attention of a surfer?
Wave.
Differences
Hamish: 'Do you know the difference between you and a vending machine?'
Jimmy: 'No?'
Hamish: 'You can get a drink from a vending machine.'
Lightbulbs
How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb?
One.
Thoughts
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Penny!
Penny Who?
Penny For your thoughts!
Dogs
What do you get if you cross a small bear with a dog?
Winnie the Poodle.
Pop Stars
What do you call a pop group made up of animal doctors?
Vet, Vet, Vet.
Lawyers
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
How many can you afford?
Chocolate
What is made of chocolate and is found at the bottom of the sea?
An oyster egg.
Bats
What did the bat say to his girlfriend?
You're real fun to hang around with.