Christmas
What do male sheep sing at Christmas?
Ewele-tide Carols!
Barbers
Why do ex-barbers make such good parcel delivery drivers?
They know all the shortcuts.
Blondes
Why do blondes like lightning?
They think someone is taking their picture.
Trousers
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Dakota.
Dakota who?
Dakota fits perfectly, but the trousers are too long.
Dead
Ten-year-old's response to the question, 'When dead, what do you want to be remembered for?': 'Ever.'
Bees
What did one bee say to the other bee on a hot summer day?
Swarm today, isn't it?
Cars
Do me a favor: Steal this car.
Lawyers
Last year, a group of terrorists hijacked a planeload of lawyers. They said they'd release one every hour unless their demands were met.
Economists
Why did God create economists?
To make weather forecasters look good.