The Titanic
Never mind the Titanic - is there any news of the iceberg?
Crime
The murderer definitely displayed ruthlessness when he committed the crime!
How do you know that?
Because Ruth was with me.
Dads
This kid said to me, 'My dad can beat your dad up.'
I said to him, 'That's nothing. So can my mum.'
Bridges
If you jump off a bridge that crosses a famous Paris river, are you in Seine?
Cats
My friend says that you can speak in cat language. Is it true?
Me - how?
Legs
What has four legs, a back, and two arms but no body?
A chair.
Office Parties
You know you're having a bad day when everyone avoids you the morning after the company office party.
Dogs
Sally: I've lost my dog.
Allie: Why don't you put an ad in the paper?
Sally: That wouldn't help. My dog can't read.
Bees
What does a bee call his wife?
Honey.