George: Is your father still in the hospital?
William: Yes. He's in the Expensive Care Unit.
I dined at an incredibly pricey restaurant where the menu had small faces with varied looks of dread rather than prices.
Walking into a lawyer's office, a man asked his rates. 'Fifty dollars for three questions,' the lawyer stated.
' Isn't that expensive?' the man asked?'
'Yes,' replied the lawyer. 'What's your third question?'
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it!
Why, if the best things in life are free, the next-best things are so expensive?
Rabbits
What did the rabbits say when they were caught in the vegetable patch?
Lettuce alone!
Skeletons
What do you call a lazy skeleton?
Bone idle.
Roosters
What do you get if you cross a rooster with a duck?
An animal that wakes you up at the quack of dawn.
Cows
What goes oom, oom?
A cow walking backward.
Doctors
Doctor: How did you get here so quickly?
Patient: Flu.
Umbrellas
What go up when the rain comes down?
Umbrellas.
Rabbits
Is breeding rabbits a hare raising experience?
Teachers
Teacher: Take this sentence: 'I don't have no fun at the weekend.' How should I correct this?
Pupil: Perhaps you could try and find a boyfriend.
Stupid
Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.