Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Calendar
Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar?
He was sentenced to 12 months in jail they say his days are numbered.
A Bad Stomach
I've got a bad stomach.
Well just keep your coat on and on one will notice.
Credit Cards
Diner: Waiter, can you put this meal on my credit card?
Waiter: Sorry, sir. But I don't think it'll fit.
The London Marathon
Did you hear about the two fat men who ran in the London Marathon?
One ran in short bursts, and the other in burst shorts.
Politicians
Remember: The politicians who promise pie-in-the-sky are planning to use your dough for it.
Shoes
What kind of shoes are made from banana skins?
Slippers.
Doctors
Doctor, doctor, I keep stealing things.
Have you taken anything for it?
Ghosts
Did you hear about the baby ghost who applied to join the football team?
He heard the manager say that they were in need of a little team spirit.
Budgie
What do you call a baby budgie?
A budget.