Joke Topic - 'Exorcists'

Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar?
He was sentenced to 12 months in jail they say his days are numbered.

I've got a bad stomach.
Well just keep your coat on and on one will notice.

Diner: Waiter, can you put this meal on my credit card?
Waiter: Sorry, sir. But I don't think it'll fit.

Did you hear about the two fat men who ran in the London Marathon?
One ran in short bursts, and the other in burst shorts.

Remember: The politicians who promise pie-in-the-sky are planning to use your dough for it.

What kind of shoes are made from banana skins?
Slippers.

Doctor, doctor, I keep stealing things.
Have you taken anything for it?

Did you hear about the baby ghost who applied to join the football team?
He heard the manager say that they were in need of a little team spirit.

What do you call a baby budgie?
A budget.