Clocks
Did you hear that the man who invented the clock has written his autobiography?
It's about time.
Difficult
Why be difficult when, with a little bit more effort, you can be completely impossible?
Toes
They call him toenails because he is always at the foot of the class.
Steamrollers
Do steam rollers really roll steam?
Ghosts
What do you get if you cross a ghost with an owl?
A creature that frightens people but doesn't give a hoot.
Lawyers
What are lawyers good for?
They make used car salesmen look good.
Fishing
What do you call a man who likes to go fishing every weekend?
Rod!
Cats
Why did the cat move to a new neighborhood?
Because the old one had gone to the dogs!
Everything
Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It'll only take 10 seconds.