Laughter
What do you call cattle that have a sense of humor?
Laughing stock.
Driving
I don't care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would rather be
Teachers
School children march over new teachers
Fast
Please don't honk; I'm pedaling as quickly as I can.
Lawyers
Lawyers don'tgivebad advice - they charge for it.
Lunch
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Emma.
Emma who?
Emma too early for lunch?
Dogs
What do you call a sheepdog's tail that is able to tell tall stories?
A shaggy dog tale.
Santa Claus
How do you know that Santa is good at karate?
Because he has a black belt!
Books
Old bookkeepers never die; they just lose their figures.