A little girl asked her father, 'do all fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time"?
The father replied, 'No, some begin with - If I am elected.'
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Magicians
What do you call a lady magician?
Trixie.
Unwilling
We the unwilling, led by the unqualified, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful.
Job
What do you call a man who is able to complete a job in just 30 seconds?
Arthur Minute.
Succeed
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Pigs
What do you get if you cross a pig and a telephone?
A lot of crackling on the line.
Whales
Save the whales - collect the whole set
Going
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Weirdo.
Weirdo who?
Weirdo you think you're going?
Tires
If tires hold up cars, what holds up airplanes?
Hijackers.
French
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don't like fast food.