Fishing
The worst day fishing is better than the best day working
Scotsmen
Did you hear about the Scotsman who invited a young woman back to his room to see his etchings?
He sold her three of them.
Pianos
What do you get if you drop a piano down a mineshaft?
A flat minor!!
Television
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
Doctors
Patient: Doctor, doctor, I'm unable to feel my legs.
Doctor: I know we had to cut off your arms.
Baseball
What does a baseball pitcher like to do on his birthday?
Throw a party.
Dogs
We call our dog Egypt because he likes to leave a pyramid in every room.
Strawberries
This bloke said to my brother, 'My trouble is I keep thinking I'm a strawberry.'
My brother said, 'You're in a jam then aren't you.'
Doctors
What do you call the place that is crowded with doctors most afternoons?
A golf course.