A man went into a grocer's and saw a sign: 'Normal eggs 30p a dozen, square eggs 50p a dozen.' He asked the manager what the extra twenty pence was for.
'Ah,' came the reply, 'that's danger money for the chicken.'
Did you hear about the man who stole a truck load of eggs?
He only did it for a yolk.
Did you hear about the man who stole a truckload of eggs?
He has returned them. Apparently he only did it for a yolk.
Did you hear about the stupid farmer who made his chickens drink hot water?
He thought they would lay hard-boiled eggs.
Did you hear the one about the egg?
It's not all that it's cracked up to be.
Diner: Waiter, these eggs are runny.
Waiter: Why do you say that, sir?
Because one just ran out the door.
How can you drop and egg six feet without it breaking?
By dropping it seven feet - it won't break for the first six.
If a farmer has two eggs for breakfast every morning, but he doesn't own any chickens and he doesn't get them from anyone else, where do the eggs come from?
From his ducks.
My brother said to my mum, 'It's not fair. I was just about to fight Johnny Jenkins when my sister threw rotten eggs at me.'
My mum said 'Lucy, what did you do that for?'
She said, 'I was egging him on.'
My uncle was talking to this egg. He said, 'I'm ever so sorry little egg but I'm about to fry you.'
The egg said, 'Are you having me on?'
My uncle said, 'Of course I am. I'm having you on toast.'