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Joke Topic - 'Earth'


Here are 2 jokes on the topic - 'Earth'.

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I've lived on vegetables all my life
- that's nothing, I've lived on earth!
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Is there intelligent life on earth? Yes but I'm only visiting


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

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Barbers

Why do ex-barbers make such good parcel delivery drivers?
They know all the short cuts.
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Biscuits

Newlywed Wife: I baked two kinds of biscuits today, dear. Would you like to take your pick?
Husband: No, thanks. I'll just use a hammer.
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Teddy Bears

What do you call a poster advertising the last teddy for sale?
A one ted poster.
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Idiot

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!
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Politicians

The government claims it's following the will of the people. I didn't even know we'd died!
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Car

Why can't a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
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Cat

What do you get if you cross a cat and a pair of wellingtons?
Puss 'n' boots!
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Open The Door

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mickey.
Mickey who?
Mickey won't work, so please open the door for me!
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Hotels

Fred goes into a hotel and says to the receptionist 'I'd like a room please.'
Receptionist: 'Single, Sir?'
Fred: 'Yes, but I am engaged.'

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