Joke Topic - 'Ears'

What did the dog say when he sat on a piece of sandpaper?
Ruff.

My girlfriend just saved me a lot of money - she married someone else.

Diner: Waiter, do you have crepes Suzette?
Waiter: Sorry sir, we don't have any crepes. And my name is George, not Suzette.

What stays in a corner but can travel all around the world?
A postage stamp.

Yo mama's feet are so big, her shoes need license plates.

Diner: Waiter, bring me a portion of fish a glass of milk.
Waiter: Fillet?
Diner: Yes, right to the top.

Where do fish keep their money?
In river banks.

How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One always leaves in the middle of the project.

Each year on his wedding anniversary he goes down to City Hall in the hope that his marriage license has expired.