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Joke Topic - 'Drunks' - 2

This is page 2 of jokes on the topic - 'Drunks'.

Related Topics: Bartenders (2) Bars (20) Barman (5) Beer (14) Bartender (2) Drunk (7)

I'm not a steady drinker - my hand shakes too much.

I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk!
Alcoholics go to meetings!

I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

There's this drunk guy who decides that he wants to go fishing. He packs up all his tackle and sets out in search of a suitable spot.
Eventually, he stumbles across a huge area of ice and decides that he'll give it a go. Taking out a saw from his tackle box, he starts to saw a whole. Suddenly, a loud voice booms out at him, "There's no fish in here." The drunk looks all around him but can't see anyone. He decides to ignore the voice and carries on sawing.
Again, the voice booms out, "I've told you once, there's no fish in here!" He looks up again but there's still no sign of anyone so he returns to his task.
"Stop it!" shouts the now very angry sounding voice, "You'd better pack up your stuff and get out of here or there'll be trouble."
"Who are you" shouts the drunk guy, "you don't scare me!"
"Look," replies the voice, "I'm the manager of this Ice Rink!"

Two drunks were riding a roller coaster, when one turned to the other and said, "We may be making good time, but I've got a feeling we're on the wrong bus."

Two drunks were staggering home one night when they passed the local brewery which was lit up. One said 'It's good to know that no matter how much we drink they are still able to supply enough.'
'Maybe,' said his friend, 'but I see that we have them working nights'.

Why did the drunk man dislike the cute little puppy?
Because it was the heir of the dog that bit him.

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