Elephants
Why do elephants have short tails?
Because they can't remember long stories.
Witches
How did the witch know that she was ill?
She had a dizzy spell.
Doctors
Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pencil.
Doctor: Can you get to the point?
Girlfriends
Jack: I'd go through anything for you.
Mary: Just the door will be enough.
Kings
Which of King Arthur's knights loved to eat steak?
Sir Loin.
Professors
Old Chemistry professors never die; they just smell that way!
Ghosts
Did you hear what happened when the ghosts went on strike?
A skeleton staff took over.
Ghosts
Why did the ghost look so thin?
Because he was just a shadow of his former self.
Baseball
Why was the baseball player sent to jail?
Because he stole second base.