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Joke Topic - 'Dogs' - Page 9 - With 12 More Jokes and Funny Stories
When a lawyer's dog gets loose, he heads straight to the butcher shop, where he steals a roast. When the butcher goes to the office of the lawyer, he says, "If a dog that is running free steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have the right to demand payment for the meat from the owner of the dog?" The response from the attorney is, "Oh, yes."
'You owe me $8.50. Your dog got away today and stole a roast from me.
The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50.
When the butcher receives the mail a few days later, he discovers a bill from the attorney, which states that he is owed twenty dollars for a consultation.
'You owe me $8.50. Your dog got away today and stole a roast from me.
The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50.
When the butcher receives the mail a few days later, he discovers a bill from the attorney, which states that he is owed twenty dollars for a consultation.
When is a man like a dog?
When he is a boxer.
When he is a boxer.
Where did the dog breeder deposit his savings?
In Bark-lays Bank.
In Bark-lays Bank.
Where did the dog leave his car when he went shopping?
In a barking lot.
In a barking lot.
Which dog gives you Christmas presents?
Santa Paws.
Santa Paws.
Which is the quietest breed of dog?
A hush puppy!
A hush puppy!
Which type of dog always knows what time it is?
A watchdog!
A watchdog!
Which type of dog can tell the time?
A watchdog.
A watchdog.
While passing through a small town, a city slicker stops at a gas station to refuel. Going into the station to pay, he sees a man playing checkers with a dog. 'Utterly fantastic,' he gasps, ' a dog who plays checkers. You could take him to the city and make piles of money with him.' After his next move, the man looks up and says, 'Awh, he ain't so smart. I can beat him two times out of three.'
Why are Dalmatians no good at playing hide and seek?
Because they are always spotted.
Because they are always spotted.
Why are dogs not good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
Because they have two left feet.
Why did the cat move to a new neighborhood?
Because the old one had gone to the dogs!
Because the old one had gone to the dogs!