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Joke Topic - 'Dogs' - Page 5 - With 12 More Jokes and Funny Stories
Sally: I've lost my dog.
Allie: Why don't you put an ad in the paper?
Sally: That wouldn't help. My dog can't read.
2>Allie: Why don't you put an ad in the paper?
Sally: That wouldn't help. My dog can't read.
Teacher: 'Late again. What's the excuse this time?'
Pupil: 'Sorry, Sir. There was a notice on the bus saying Dogs must be carried, and I couldn't find one anywhere.'
2>Pupil: 'Sorry, Sir. There was a notice on the bus saying Dogs must be carried, and I couldn't find one anywhere.'
The duck hunter trained his retriever dog to walk on water. Eager to brag about his amazing achievement, he invited a friend to accompany him on his next hunt. Saying nothing, he fired his first shot, and when the duck fell, the dog walked on the water's surface, collected it, and brought it to his owner.
'Notice anything?' the owner asked eagerly.
'Yes,' his friend replied, 'I see that dumb dog of yours can't swim.'
3>'Notice anything?' the owner asked eagerly.
'Yes,' his friend replied, 'I see that dumb dog of yours can't swim.'
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
1>The tourist noticed a warning on the glass door of the small country store that said DANGER! BEWARE OF THE DOG. A harmless old hound dog was dozing on the floor near the cash register. "Is THAT the dog we are supposed to beware of?" he asked the storekeeper.
'Yep, that's him,' he replied.
The tourist was unable to stop laughing. 'It doesn't seem like a dangerous dog to me. Why do you need that sign?
'Because,' the storekeeper explained, 'people were always tripping over him before I hung that sign.'
5>'Yep, that's him,' he replied.
The tourist was unable to stop laughing. 'It doesn't seem like a dangerous dog to me. Why do you need that sign?
'Because,' the storekeeper explained, 'people were always tripping over him before I hung that sign.'
This guy sees a sign in front of a property that says 'Talking Dog for Sale.' He rings the doorbell, and the owner opens the door and tells him the dog is sitting in the backyard. The guy walks into the backyard and notices a mongrel sitting there.
'You talk?' he asks. 'Yep,' the mutt replies. 'So, what's your story?'
The mutt looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered this gift pretty young; I told the CIA about my gift as I wanted to help the government, so and very soon they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders. No one thought a dog would be eavesdropping. For eight years, I was one of their most valuable spies. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger, and I wanted to settle down. So, I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible information there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.
'The guy is astounded. He goes back inside and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. The owner says, 'Ten dollars.' The guy says he'll buy him, but he asks the owner, "This dog is fantastic. Why are you selling him? The owner responds, 'He's a liar.'
5>'You talk?' he asks. 'Yep,' the mutt replies. 'So, what's your story?'
The mutt looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered this gift pretty young; I told the CIA about my gift as I wanted to help the government, so and very soon they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders. No one thought a dog would be eavesdropping. For eight years, I was one of their most valuable spies. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger, and I wanted to settle down. So, I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible information there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.
'The guy is astounded. He goes back inside and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. The owner says, 'Ten dollars.' The guy says he'll buy him, but he asks the owner, "This dog is fantastic. Why are you selling him? The owner responds, 'He's a liar.'
Two dogs were walking along the road. One dog stopped and said: 'My name is Fido. What's yours?
The other dog thought for a minute and then replied: 'I think it's Down Boy.'
2>The other dog thought for a minute and then replied: 'I think it's Down Boy.'
Veterinarian: Has your dog ever had fleas?
Little Boy: No, just puppies!
1>Little Boy: No, just puppies!
We call our dog Egypt because he likes to leave a pyramid in every room.
1>What breed of dog does a chemistry teacher have?
A laboratory retriever.
1>A laboratory retriever.
What breed of dog is always tired when it is in London?
An English sleep dog.
1>An English sleep dog.
What breed of dog loves to take a bath?
A shampoodle!
1>A shampoodle!