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Joke Topic - 'Dogs' - Page 4 - With 12 More Jokes and Funny Stories
Mary: Our dog is just like one of the family.
Jane: Yes. I can see the resemblance.
1>Jane: Yes. I can see the resemblance.
Missing: wife and dog. Reward for dog.
1>Mum, can I please have a dog for Christmas?
No, you will have turkey like everyone else!
2>No, you will have turkey like everyone else!
My brother and I were in this cottage in the country, all on our own, in the dead of night. My brother said, 'What was that noise? I thought I heard an owl.'
I said, 'You probably did. I just stepped on the dog's foot.'
3>I said, 'You probably did. I just stepped on the dog's foot.'
My brother said, 'Mum, I feel sick as a dog.'
My mum said, 'Hang on, I'll call the vet.'
2>My mum said, 'Hang on, I'll call the vet.'
My dog is a nuisance. He chases everyone on a bicycle. What can I do?
Take his bike away.
2>Take his bike away.
My new dog is very obedient. When I say 'heel,' he always bites me on the heel.
1>My old man thought getting me a German Shepherd for protection would be a great idea. Can you believe it? He was an excellent watchdog, always keeping us on our toes! One evening, while I was being "held up," he just stood there and watched.
3>My pet dog is a Doberman pincher. All day, he goes around pinching Dobermans.
1>One day, a salesman dropped in to see a business customer. The office was empty except for a big dog that was clearing trash cans. The man in the store wondered if his eyes were deceiving him as he looked at the animal. Just then, the dog looked up and said, 'Don't be surprised, sir, this is all part of my job.'
'That's simply incredible!' muttered the man. 'I can't believe it! I must tell your boss what a fantastic asset he has in you - a dog that is able to talk!'
'No, no, please don't do that,' said the dog. 'If my boss finds out I can talk, he'll make me answer the phones and clean the office.'
4>'That's simply incredible!' muttered the man. 'I can't believe it! I must tell your boss what a fantastic asset he has in you - a dog that is able to talk!'
'No, no, please don't do that,' said the dog. 'If my boss finds out I can talk, he'll make me answer the phones and clean the office.'
Patient: Please help me, Doctor. Whenever I look at my dog, I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.
Doctor: Relax. Your dog is a Dalmatian.
2>Doctor: Relax. Your dog is a Dalmatian.
Please help me find my lost dog. Here is his description:
One eye
Three legs
Ears chewed off
Broken tail
Answers to the name 'Lucky'
2>One eye
Three legs
Ears chewed off
Broken tail
Answers to the name 'Lucky'