"Why is your dog growling at me like that?" asked Brian.
"0h," said Billy, "He's probably just angry because you're using his dish."
A dog walked into a fast-food restaurant and ordered a cup of coffee. He drank it and then left.
The customers in the restaurant were amazed. One of them said to the assistant behind the counter. "That's quite a dog! Does he always do that?"
"Oh, no." the assistant answered. "He usually orders a diet coke."
A FATHER: The man who has complete command, most of the time, of the dog.
Did you hear about the dog who went to college?
He won a collarship.
Did you hear about the skeleton that was attacked by a dog?
It ran off with some bones and left him without a leg to stand on.
Did you hear about the vampire's new dog?
It's a bloodhound!
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a dog.
Sit!
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a dog.
How long have you felt like this?
Ever since I was a puppy!
Man: "Little girl, I'm looking for a small black and white dog with only one eye."
Little Girl: "If he's small, perhaps you should use both eyes."