Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pencil.
Doctor: Can you get to the point?
Patient: Doctor, doctor, I have a hoarse throat.
Doctor: The resemblance doesn't end there.
Patient: Doctor, doctor, I keep seeing frogs before my eyes.
Doctor: Don't worry, it's only a hoptical illusion.
Patient: Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that I can see into the future.
Doctor: And when did this happen?
Patient: Next Wednesday.
Patient: Doctor, doctor, I think I'm developing a split personality.
Doctor: Well, sit down, both of you.
Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I'm boiling up.
Doctor: Why don't you just simmer down?
Patient: Doctor, doctor, I'm unable to feel my legs.
Doctor: I know we had to cut off your arms.
Patient: Doctor, doctor. I keep thinking I'm a comedian.
Doctor: You must be joking.
Patient: Doctor, I feel like a window.
Doctor: Tell me where the pane is.
Patient: Doctor, I feel like an orange!
Doctor: Have you tried playing squash?
Patient: Doctor, I feel very ill. I think that I ate too many oysters last night.
Doctor: Were the oysters fresh?
Patient: I don't know if they were fresh or not.
Doctor: What did they look like when you opened them?
Patient: You mean you have to open them?
Patient: Doctor, I keep seeing double.
Doctor: Please sit on the couch.
Patient: Which one?